Sometimes it feels good to rant, vent, stomp, and let off steam. There’s a risk, though, that it can backfire and leave you feeling worse later. The good news is: you can have your cake and eat it too, provided you practice ranting-while-tapping (as opposed to “just-plain-ranting”). There’s a world of difference between the two.
I’ve recently come up with a helpful analogy that I offer—albeit slightly cautiously—to my new clients. It’s a fundamentally un-lovely concept, I’m afraid. No beautiful rainbows and prancing unicorns here! Just a blocked toilet. And three words: “Tap the Crap.”
Backing up for a second (as indeed blocked toilets do!) …
For years we’ve been taught to think positively, to create and repeat positive, upbeat affirmations. It can therefore seem unsettling or counter-intuitive to be asked to do the exact opposite: to focus on, and give words to, the negative. Yet this is what we intentionally do in tapping.
It makes perfect sense, however, when you understand that the net effect of tapping is flushing. If a toilet is blocked, there’s no point trotting round your bathroom waving a scented candle and saying “la la la, it’s all good!” Nor is there any point, however tempting, just shouting at the toilet! One way or another, you need to flush.
Typically, words alone don’t do the job. My older daughter once arrived home from school angry and upset with one of her best friends. She was too distressed to go to a party planned for that evening. I did my best with just words: “that’s such a shame … you were so looking forward to it! … I’m sure she didn’t mean it … You’ve been friends for so long…. (etc)” No prizes for guessing what my maternal words of wisdom fell on: deaf ears!
Typically, words alone don’t do the job. My older daughter once arrived home from school angry and upset with one of her best friends. She was too distressed to go to a party planned for that evening. I did my best with just words: “that’s such a shame … you were so looking forward to it! … I’m sure she didn’t mean it … You’ve been friends for so long…. (etc)” No prizes for guessing what my maternal words of wisdom fell on: deaf ears!
I switched gears and said “let’s tap!”. She shrugged and said, grudgingly, “I spose.” I led the ranting for her, while physically tapping on her (on the eight key meridian points). I used colourful, emphatic language; it was fun and energizing letting rip! After about four minutes of “she’s such a *%&” and I will never everforgive her!” my daughter interjected thoughtfully “to be fair, she didn’t actually mean to upset me…” One minute later, she said: “ok, thanks, I’m going to go and get changed now.” Five minutes later: “bye!” Smiling teenager out the door.
We had tapped the crap and flushed the toilet, she was ready to party, and once again I mentally high-fived this amazing technique.
So do remember, next time you feel irked or upset:
